Please, take care of yourself

Lately, I have been disconnected.

I haven’t been able to put into words the feelings I have been experiencing the past few weeks. As a highly sensitive person who feels just about everything deeply, this has been a scary occurrence. One of my coping mechanisms traces the origin of a feeling and its journey. This allows me respond in a healthy and positive matter, rather than react instinctively to my feelings. However, I have been unable to accomplish this due to my dull senses and lack of care.

This state of numbness has dulled all of my senses.

Have I put myself in this position? It’s hard to say. The stress of finding a new job which can merge with my highly sensitive personality is not an easy one.

Maybe I dulled my senses to protect myself from the onslaught of fear, worry, and doubt that have accumulated inside of myself because of the impending changes in my life. It really is my only guess, which I cannot confirm because of my current state. While I have taken the time to go through this ramble, it has been for a point and the point is this,

Always remember to take care of yourself.

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Most People Love Surprises, I Don’t

Most people love surprises.

I feel pretty confident in saying this is true from my past experiences. I, however, do not love surprises. As a highly sensitive person, introvert and INFJ; I’m do not consider myself “most people” as I’m sure you are if you are reading this.

Surprises can be fun and exciting. They can also be terrifying and stressful. Surprises bring about a lot of unknowns. What kind of people will I be interacting with? What would be the appropriate thing to wear? Will I feel out-of-place if I don’t mesh with anyone? Will anyone I know even be there or do I have to put on my “extrovert hat?”

I want to love surprises. Trust me, I do. But how can I when they cause so much anxiety? I would love to be someone who can jump from one activity to the next without pause, but I simply was not born like that. Having time to decompress and be in my own space is keeps my brain/heart/soul relaxed.

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Stop and Smell the Food

I LOVE food!

I mean, who doesn’t?

Food is my vice. It calms me, soothes me, lulls my fears, and numbs my sadness. It’s a natural high no one can stop me from having. It sounds like I’m addicted, I know. But I simply have stronger reactions from eating. I taste more strongly than others and can sense a greater range of tastes. I feel like I enjoy it more than the average person.

I taste more strongly than others, can sense a greater range of tastes, and I feel like I enjoy it more.

I love chocolate chip cookies, ravioli, duck confit, tuna tartare, my mama’s sour cream walnut cake (!), dominican beans, lamb curry, Chinese fried rice, pho, Thai red curry, smoothies, cookies and ice cream… I think I got side tracked.

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