Tip Two: Being okay means loving yourself

The truth of the universe hits you

when you face the toughest times of your life.

Mine slammed into me when I felt lonely surrounded by people who loved me.
Now, how could that be?

Society tells us that having many friends, things, and experiences validates you as a person. Therefore, having all of these things should make a person feel whole and worthy. What happens when you have all of these things and you still don’t feel worthy?

In my research of the world and people from all walks of life, I have found this recurring idea to be true. No matter how successful in your career or accomplished in your social life you might be, these things will not make you feel valid or whole.

You can travel every month. Going to every continent in one year. Or backpacking across all of Europe. If your intention is to reach a status level you deem important, self-worth will not come.

If you travel to find truth, connection and yourself, your trip will be profitable. Profitable in the sense of money? No. Profitable in the sense that you have filled yourself with culture, with experiences of hardship and vulnerability that make you realize what is truly important in this world:

Connection

Humans are social creatures. In the modern age, we are obsessed with connecting with as many people as we can. In paleo-lithic times, connection was much more attainable because surviving meant relying on each other as well as yourself for food, shelter and care.

Self-critique is a natural human tendency. However, a lack of self-worth or self-imposed low personal value was less of a problem. It was impossible to survive in that harsh pre-industrial world without being good at something, without being needed. So how did this ideal get so very lost in the modern age.

  1. Awareness of our own insignificance is the first problem. Being able to connect and reach billions of people reminded us that we can be replaceable.
  2. Advances in technology and machinery revealed to us someone better at the thing we thought we were good at.
  3. Having systems in place to provide us with the food that we eat took away the importance we felt on having to provide for our own selves.
  4. The evolution of religion into so many different revisions skewed the original message of a higher power and made us feel wholly imperfect no matter how hard we tried.

There are many additions to the above list. The more literature and research one reads on the development of societies, the more there is to find. However, these four are enough to tackle. These ideas lost to the modern age all cultivated this lack of value and self-worth people feel. They are dangerous feelings. They are tough to admit to, to tackle, and change.

One important point seems to bind together all of these ideals.
You are worthy. You are valuable. Simply because you are breathing.
No one can give you your worth and no one can take it away.

Love from others should supplement the love you have for yourself.

That’s it.
It is everything that that needs to be said, thought and felt.

It is impossible to know anyone else’s experience because we cannot go inside anyone else’s brain. So why is it expected to receive validation from other people? When people often cannot even validate themselves?

I wish for you reading this to remember:
You are worthy. You are valuable. Simply because you are breathing.

I trust that these sentences will change your life.
They have changed mine.

With love,
Lisandra

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *