How to value yourself

When you look in the mirror what do you see? Do you see someone who is beautiful, kind, loving, intelligent and hard working?


Do you see someone who embarrassed themselves that one time in eighth grade, who can’t get a partner and feels like they have no friends?

Which story are you telling yourself?

Which person would you rather be? You deserve to love yourself.  You deserve to appreciate yourself for everything that you are. You deserve to feel good when you wake up in the morning and feel good when you look in the mirror. No one can give that to you.  No one can beat it into you. No one can tell you anything to make you believe it. You have to choose to believe it. You have to make a conscious choice every single day to be the kind of person who is confident, the kind of person who trusts themselves, the kind of person other people want to be. It is not a joke. It is not a trick.

See you can be the hero in your own story.

You can be the person that you are also jealous of. It is not about being someone else. It is all about being your best self. Seeing yourself as you truly are and seeing all of the best qualities in yourself and all of the potential you have to be that person. Because being confident is not easy. Being happy is not easy. Being someone that you can be proud of is also not easy. Or we would all be that person from the very beginning. No. We need to grow. We need to become and learn how to be the person that we most admire. Only then does it feel worthwhile. Only then does it feel real. And only then does it feel beautiful.  


Tip one: Start with a list

 So who do you want to be? What do you wish you could be and what are you telling yourself that keeps you from being that person? This is the first exercise towards loving who you are. I thought I would just get right to the point this time. No fluff, nothing extra, simply words and beliefs that can change your life as they have changed mine. Write down the person that you want to be right now, the qualities, the way they act, what they like. And then write down the person you think you are.  

The purpose: To face many negative and destructive ideas you might hold about yourself and the person you want to be.

What is different about this list? And what is the same? Making these lists is not easy and it is not supposed to be. It was supposed to be difficult. It is supposed to be uncomfortable and it supposed to make you sad. Because until you can confront your own negative harmful and distractive ideas, you will not be able to let them go. Does this makes sense to you? I asked this question because I want you to answer for yourself if you understand or if you do not. If you do not, reach out to me I desire to help you really and truly.  Because we can all understand this. We only need to look inside and realize what is right there. It is all possible it is all real.  

To do: Make a list about who you want to be and who you think you are now. 


Tip two: take action

The next step is to go out and try to be that person you want to be. Do you want to be someone who is good at speaking in front of other people?  Then practice. Make YouTube videos showing your friends how to cook, like a cooking show or practice saying a poem out loud. See because you don’t become the person you want to be by waiting for it to happen. If you could simply be the person you desired without work then you would be that from when you were young and decided who to be. So if you can't be the person you desire by simply wanting it, then go out and do something to become that person. It takes growth and desire to be different. You need to be uncomfortable. You go out and do what scares you in order to grow and work to become the person you desire.  

The purpose: Realize that becoming who you can be proud of takes work.

You can even be online. Trying Instagram or Facebook live. Push yourself.  trust me it’s worth it.   this exercise is intended to help you realize that you have everything you need inside of you to be who you want to be you do not need to burn rate yourself for not being the person you are already that person. You only need to express it  

To do: Take steps to become who you want to be.


Tip three. Love who you are right now.  

When you wake up in the morning. Tell yourself you love yourself. Tell yourself you are beautiful. Tell yourself you are intelligent. Tell yourself that you are perfect and getting better every single day. Tell yourself that no matter how much you mess up and how awful you feel like that experience was, you are still an amazing person. Now I know this will be difficult. It goes against all of our beliefs. But it still true.  Because when you tell yourself positive things over and over and over you start to believe those things and you start to understand that when your own mind supports you everything is easier. Everything is more joyful and you start to become that person always meant to be. It is not about lying and pretending you were not who you think you are. It is about creating a system within your brain to make you the happiest and most successful person that you know. Doesn’t that sound like something you want to be?  

The purpose: Instill a new pattern of self-love in your brain

To do: Constantly life yourself up, even if you mess up.


Tip four: smile more.  

 Sounds silly doesn’t it? Sounds a little bit pointless doesn’t it?

It’s not.

It is not to me. Because whenever I remind myself to simply smile, to simply think of something that will make me smile today or has made me smile in the past, I actually smile. I actually feel joy. And that has instilled a perpetual feeling of joy inside of my mind body and soul. It's becoming instinctual to feel joy. To let go of the bad and bring in the joy from within myself. 

The purpose: Get your mind, body, and soul used to feeling good.

I definitely still have negative days, bad days and sad days. But my body understands that this is not desirable. This is not what I want for myself and this is not the natural state of being. I am not happy all the time, but I get through life much easier when I understand that feeling joy is where I want to be. I also tell myself it is alright for me to feel joy no matter what is going on in my life for myself and for those around me. Because when I'm joyful, I can handle life better, make better and healthier decisions. 

To do: Smile more, remind yourself you can smile for no reason.


Tip five. Plan to do something that will make you feel good every single day.

Whether it’s working out to make your body feel good, whether it’s singing to make you feel alive, or dancing (that can do both :D.) Whether it’s painting or cooking or taking time out to play with your kid when you know you don’t have the time. It’s about valuing who you are. It’s about understanding that when you have something to look forward to every single day that you know will make you feel good, getting through each and every day is a lot easier. It's about feeling pride for who you are and being happy with yourself and your choices.

The purpose: Understand that you can always move your mindset to happiness. 

To do: Plan something you love, something that makes you feel good, each and every day. 

This tips are designed to shift your mind from a place of flagellation and self-hate to a place of praise and self-love. Only you can be your own cheerleader. Why not do your best to give you your best life?

You are loved. You matter.  

This post is short and sweet because I want everyone to read it. I want everyone to believe it and everyone to feel good. I will be having an Instagram live about these topics on Tuesday May 29th, 2018 at 6:00pm EST @ OneSensitive. I will be going through these tips and hopefully changing some hearts and changing some lives. Please come to listen in if you have any comments about your experience. You are not alone in your experiences. If I have not experienced it. I promise you someone else listening has. I look forward to seeing you there!