Let's Wait in Line: An overthinking struggle
When I created this blog, I vowed to be honest about my experiences. Sugar-coating the truth would help no one. Especially myself. So here goes;
I had to get my car inspected recently.
It seemed fairly simply enough. Go to the DMV, wait in line, get the car inspected and leave. Sounds like it should be fairly easy and painless right? It wasn't. At all.
First, I thought had to make sure everything in my car was alright before I got it inspected.
Turns out, I was wrong. Since my car was fairly new, that was a pointless thing to do.
Then I had to get to the DMV. This can be relaxing because I love listening to music while driving, so at least that is a positive point.
When I get to the DMV I had to take a ticket and wait in line. Again, my brain is telling me this is a fairly simple and painless process so far, so why am I already nervous and have knots in my stomach? I was having "pre-inspection" jitters. I was nervous about the outcome of the inspection even though I was repeatedly reassured by others that I had nothing to worry about.
Now, I was waiting in line. Why did I have to wait in line?! Did they (yes the car inspection people) want my stomach to do flip-flops? Did they want my anxiety and stress levels to skyrocket much too quickly? I felt very silly for worrying so much. My desire to stop worrying only worsened this fact.
Finally, I reached the front of the line. The guy tells me to pull in. I can't hear a thing he says, Pull where? Take out what?" As a highly sensitive, I often hear from other sources that HSPs have sensitive hearing. I somehow missed this trait because I have the most awful hearing.
When I finally figure out what he's telling me, I am hassling to give him my papers, leave the key in the car (#keyless car problems lol) and stand behind the rope. By which cone did he say? Am I going to look like a fool standing at the wrong cone? Why do I care so much?
After a few minutes of talking to myself, I acknowledge that it does not matter where I stand. I could say I wanted to see what he was doing, or be able to hear if he called me. I felt better having thought of multiple responses to the question "Why did you stand there?"
When my car was finished, a lady drives it to where I stood, gets out of the car and says it's done... What do you mean its done? That's it? I just drive away? So I drove away wondering if again, I did the right thing or perhaps I missed something.
This confusion, worry, and constant self-doubt often accompany my experience of new things. It is an agonizing and stressful process few people understand. They can't seem to fathom how something so simple can be a problem. Sometimes its difficult for me to understand too. I have to do a lot of self-talk in order to be able to function on the same level other people seem to instinctively be on.
This is one of the most difficult parts of being highly sensitive.
But it doesn't have to be.
Thanfully, I learned a better way. I still overthink things I do not need to but they no longer plague me. I accept them as thoughts and move on. My worries, fears, and self-doubt moving along with it. I accomplished this amazing feat through the power of meditation. Lucky for you, I have a free healing meditation on my blog! It should have popped up already :) If not, here is a link to access the content.
We all have so many stories just like this one. I'd love to hear yours! Email me to share (Your information is completely confidential). Let's talk about our experiences and use this opportunity to love and accept one another!
I also have a Stop Obsessive Overthinking webinar coming up soon! Sign up here to get first dibs!