Tip Five: Living in the moment
Sometimes I stop and think. Why does it seem like everyone else has a roadmap to life that I just do not have? Why does it feel like everyone else is on the right path while Im on the wrong one?
I used to think that I was the only person who felt this way until I joined a highly sensitive person Facebook group and realized that lots of people agreed with me! Truly connecting with others is probably the only reason I still have social media. There's nothing like realizing that you're not the only weird one.
So what is this roadmap to life that everyone has?
They live in the moment.
Doesn't sound like much of a plan at all right? Yeah I agree it's difficult to wrap your head around, but hear me out.
The people I see who are truly happy, are the people who do not spend their time worrying about what the next moment will bring, worrying about all of the possibilities or whether they are doing everything right. The people I meet who are truly happy. Live each moment fully, bringing positivity, light and joy to every moment. They do not waste time feeling sad, unhappy or depressed. This is not to say they never feel these things. They simply do not waste any time with these feelings. They accept the feelings as they are, observe them and figure out what needs to be done to move on.
Sounds like heaven right?
I used to think it was impossible. I used to think, "I'm so sensitive. I could never be like that."
Of course I could never be like that. I couldn't fathom a possibility in which I was like that!
I limited myself. I stopped myself. I inhibited myself. All of the synonyms, put them in there, because I did them!
See, living in the moment is hard for most people, especially highly sensitives. We see all the different possibilities, all of the different angles and we think, what if this happened, what would we do? and what if this happened, how would we cope?
So we miss what's happening right in front of us. We miss the butterflies, the dogs chasing after squirrels and the children trying to catch the dogs. We miss the ice cream that turns to soup if you wait too long to eat it. We miss the sound of the ocean even when sitting on the beach. We miss the look of love on our partner's faces.
We miss the moments that make life, a life.
That make life memorable. That make life worth living. All because we are too worried of life's negative possibilities. Too focused on what is going on in our heads to be observant. To be present.
So how do we being to live in the moment? How do we begin to see anger and recognize it as fleeting? How do we being to see happiness and recognize its presence in all things? See because living in the moment is not about ignoring the future or the past. It's about fully being here. Fully realizing that everyday is a real part of your future history. Fully understanding that what we do today affects our tomorrows and every moment spent in despair is a moment wasted.
I've had people to say to me, so you're just going to ignore all of the atrocities in the world? No. Of course not. If ignorance is what you choose, that is your decision. But I am allowed to make the decision to feel happy, joyful and peaceful despite all of the atrocities in the world. Despite my fears and despite my misgivings about myself and about life.
I can choose to feel good things
Even though the world is a scary place. Even though its painful to see (and feel for many HSP empaths) all of the things about the world that are cruel and harsh, is it wrong to then want to bring some light into the world? Is it wrong to want to be happy instead of the layers of unhappiness we see in so many people around us?
We deserve to feel happy simply because we are here. If we are not contributing to the darkness, why not contribute to the light?
Think its difficult? Well let's try some exercises to bring the light out of ourselves and into each and every moment.
First thing's first,
1. Figure out what is darkening your light
Sounds ominous right? But its also very important. A lot of people do not even know why they feel bad. They say, oh I'm an awful person, or oh there's nothing to feel good about, or oh, no one understands me. But are those really true? Are those actually reasons to feel bad? No. they're not. Why do you believe you're an awful person? Are you not making the same mistakes as everyone else? Why do you think there's nothing to feel good about? Would you not prefer to be happy and make someone smile rather then bring them down? and what about no one understanding you, have you ever asked anyone if they feel understood? I have, and the answer is always no. We are not different from everyone else. We simply experience it deeper and more harshly than everyone else because we are highly sensitive people.
So get out a notebook. Write down what is darkening your light. Rip it up if you want to, or keep it there. Sometimes we need a reminder that we are afraid of our own selves. No one else thinks of us as badly as we do.
2. Figure out what can brighten your life
So if you now know what is keeping you from being happy, the next logical question is, do you know what makes you happy? Do you know know how to turn a bad mood into a good mood in a few minutes? Does it take hours? If you desire to live fully every day, then knowing precisely how to change a negative mood into a positive one is crucial.
Make a list of 10 things that can change your mood from a bad one to a good one in at least one day. Maybe challenge yourself and find what can change your mood in one hour.
[Now here's the kicker, the part that everyone seems to conveniently forget]
3. Go out and do the things that make you happy
Yes! This seems like common knowledge, but whenever I do this exercise with people, it amazes me how many people talk themselves out of doing the things that make them happy. [Trust me you're not alone. I do them too :p]. But that is also what amazes me. What is it about us sensitive souls that make us desire to be unhappy? I usually chalk it up to familiarity. We have simply become used to it over time. That's what makes this step even more vital, even more crucial. If we do not believe in our worth enough, to believe that we deserve to be happy, who will come and be happy for us. No one. No one can say bippity boppity boo, now you're happy. No one can say, on get over it already and be happy. No one can tie us up and torture us until we are happy.
Because happiness is a choice you must choose to make every single day.
It's a choice that comes from valuing ourselves. From understanding that the world is dark and we can choose to be the light in it. Understanding that we must do whatever it takes to be happy. And it starts today. It starts now. It starts with you actually doing the things that make you happy. and doing so many of them a day that you can ever feel unhappy. There's always time in the day to work on yourself to be your best self.
Are you willing to fight for your happiness?
These exercises are powerful. I know because I've done them myself. If you do them. You will see a benefit. Remember to stop doing things as much as you need to remember TO do things. As always, I am here for you. Please reach out to me to talk, to be healed. I know I can help you. My therapy, Sensitive Souls Healing, can get to the root cause of your problems and release them.
I'd love to hear how these exercises work for you comment below with your thoughts.
And now its time for the video! Extra content that I created to help you all get a quick fix on the post, or for those, like me, who just like to hear a live person to better connect. Enjoy and remember to join me on Instagram live the following Tuesday @ OneSensitive.